Uncle John's Bathroom Reader Extraordinary Book of Facts: And Bizarre Information

Fun information for everyone's favorite reading room. All things weird and wonderful are covered in this volume of Uncle John's collection.

From Uncle John's daily calendar: You Are What You Eat, February 15, 2007

Fruit bat soup. This delicacy from Micronesia is made from the meat of a fruit bat (also called a flying fox), simmered in water, ginger, and onion and topped with scallions, soy sauce, and coconut cream.

Chia pet salad. This dish features the edible sprouts of Salvia columbariae- related to the sage plant. The "fur" the grows out of the ceramic cow, frog, hippo, puppy, or whatever is stripped from the pottery and tossed lightly with peppery nastutiums and beanlike tulip flowers.

$12.21 on amazon.com

Stretch mark cream reviews

Let's just be honest here. As of the date of this writing, there is no miracle cure for stretch marks. There is no remedy out there today that will make your stretch marks disappear completely. If you're blessed with miraculous skin, then maybe. But if you're human, then nuh-uh. Sorry. So be very very suspicious of infomercials or ads for ANY product that claims to remove the battle scars. It's a lie. But I know that you knew that already, at least in your gut.

The good news is that there ARE remedies out there that will help improve the appearance of stretch marks. And depending on your skin, the results can be quite good. A year ago, a few friends and I did our own market research study, testing out some of the stuff out there. For three months, we massaged the lotions, gels, and creams on our stretch marks. Some women even used two different brands, only applying one to one side or their body and the other to the opposite side. We all took before and after shots. (I recommend taking before and after shots because sometimes the results are subtle and you won't remember the original marks.)

We all saw some improvement in our before and after photos and even to our own eyes, using both the cheapest and priciest gunk out there.

Here are our results:

Emu oil. Lots of people sing the praises of the oil from this animal and it definitely made a difference on my friend K___, who had some pretty severe stretch marks on her stomach. You can find this online, at some health stores, and as an indredient in some stretch mark lotions.

Palmer's Cocoa Butter. Medium results for my friend T, who is olive-skinned and had some not-too-bad battle scars from pregnancy. I used this with plain olice oil on my belly during pregnancy and didn't get stretch marks there.

Mustela. Love this brand for their baby products, but probably the least visible results of the group. Also used on the least visible stretch marks, so that probably skewed the outcome some.

Mederma. First formulated as a scar treatment, this showed good results after a few months. Two women in our group used it, and one found that it irritated her skin a little. Oh well.

Stri-Vectin. Expensive but effective. Definitely seemed to improve the shape and visibility of the stretch marks. Dermatologists often say that this product and RetinA can improve the tightness of skin.

We all saw some improvement using the above products, which range in price from $5 to $140. The difficulty with testing these types of skin products was clear with our group. It's impossible to know how any person's skin will react to the complex blend of ingredients in any stretch mark lotion. Too many variable to name. The good news? Even the worst results showed some subtle improvements. Without before and after shots, we wouldn't have caught the difference. So remember to take photos.

A few key things to remember:

Sooner rather than later: One of our testers used the cream on 10-yr old stretch marks as well as her more recent baby stretch marks. She noticed a big difference in the newer marks using the Mederma than with the older ones.

Overall health and the sands of time: It's impossible to test how effective stretch mark lotions are because dermatologists say that ALL stretch marks fade over time. By 9 months post-partum, most women's stretch marks will have faded to a few shades lighter than their own skin tone. Yes, even if they've done nothing. But keeping your skin and body hydrated, taking vitamins, and staying fit will help your skin in any circumstance. So dermatologists do recommend doing those things to aid in healing those stretch marks.

Skin massage: Massage may also be a key component of the effectiveness of stretch mark lotions. If you massage your skin 2-3 times a day, your skin's appearance will improve over time regardless of which cream you're using. There is a whole cellulite treatment based on this theory called endermologie.


When buying a stretch mark lotion, there are too many choices out there. But here is a list of some of the most popular ingredients found in effective stretch mark lotions:

Shea butter
Cocoa butter
Emu oil
Aloe
Sweet almond oil
Vitamin E
Glycolic Acid
Collagen
Olive oil

Happy Shopping!

noose necklace

Disney couture? The phrase may make your head spin round and round exorcist-style, but the jewelry is shockingly hip. The line marries nostalgia with contemporary trends, and the tinkerbell and Alice in Wonderland lines are pretty tempting. This noose necklace from the Pirates of the Caribbean collection is macabre-chic. You don't have to be goth to show a bit of your dark side.

$80 at jestjewels

Sexy umbrella

I'm an umbrella lover and the British sites are like raingear porn for me. So it's only fitting that I'd love the brollies designed by lingerie designer Chantal Thomass. A satin bow, black lace, and pink pin-striping can chase some of the rainy day blues away.

$214 at brolliesgalore

digital fireplace

You only need a TV and a DVD player to get this fire started and these flames will never go out. Completely safe and maintenance free, this fireplace comes in nine different versions from a fancy schmancy marble setup to an outdoor campfire to a just flames picture. The DVD also comes with soundtracks for background music or the sounds of a crackling fire.

$14.95 on vat19

To extend the experience, the site also sells fireplace scented candles. Go even further with a s'mores maker on amazon.

Safety first, as we learn from the streets of NYC:

Apartment Burning Fireplace Included

Woman on cell: Yes...oh, right! You haven't seen the place...Yeah, they just redecorated. Well, they painted. And used a lot of varnish on everything....The place is superflammable.

--91st & Lexington

via Overheard in New York, Mar 4, 2005

pippi fans unite!

This whimsical armchair in 'Helsinki floral' sports cute curves and legs. It belongs in Villa Veluka, home to the strongest girl in the whole world. She is also filthy rich, which explains why a nine-year old can afford this uncheap chair.

Confused? Make up for your deprived childhood and read some Astrid Lindgren. You won't be sorry.

$1,498 at anthropologie

Rebecca Taylor minidress

Minidress with a retro floral print. The white linen rosettes sewn into the hem give it a little more flower power. Whether you wear this with skinny pants, flip flops, or heels, this is not your ordinary little dress.

One must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower. - H.C. Anderson

$350 at bigdropnyc.com

Off the wall: Fashion from East Germany

The best coffee table books grab your attention AND look pretty. Off the wall: Fashion from East Germany 1964 to 1980 is both and more. A bit of camp, lots of orange, and some fashion history make this book hilarious, interesting, and show a slice of life from behind the Berlin Wall.

$12.95 on amazon.com

Play doh perfume

I’m not one of those lucky (?) people like Mary Karr or Frank McCourt who have childhood memories which remain crystal clear and vivid with detail. My childhood appears to me like a black and white silent film that sometimes has flashes of color or sound. So when my son opened his first container of play doh last year, I inhaled deeply. The chemically-fresh-minty scent brought back a whole host of now-technicolor enhanced childhood days.

My son busts out his play doh every few days so I always get my fix, but if you don’t have your own tot, then play doh perfume may be for you. It says in the marketing materials that it’s for ‘highly creative people’ but I’m doubtful. I think it’s just fun.

Play doh cologne is $39.5 for 4 oz, $19 for 1 oz at demeter fragrance

lip gloss jewelry

In this day and age, why settle for single function accessories? Our phones take photos and send email, so our jewelry can certainly kick it up a notch. Make it work, people!

Gloss is still in, and these multitaskers keep the shine close at hand. Whether you’re trendy, glam, or a little bit butch, one of these glossies should work for you.

This juicy bracelet is bright, bold, and gold, and the two heart charms have gloss and mirrors inside. Triple usage.

$75 at Saks Fifth Avenue

This Dior locket is surrounded by crystals for even more sparkle, and there are two colors of lip gloss within.

$55 at eluxury.com

Military gear has never looked so good. This Urban Decay necklace may be the prettiest dog tag you’ve ever seen, and it hides some utilitarian gloss in two one-shine-fits-all shades.

$26 at Urban Decay

wave table

This out-of-this-world console table is also far-from-cheap. But the wave design keeps all that mail and those magazines neatly slotted, and that’s worth at least $600, right? Front hall chic.

$1,059 at homefrenzy.com

The Sock Revolution

Genius. These minisocks will transform any shoes you have into funkytown with ankle ties. They go with every type of shoe from ballet flats to stilettos. Girlshop has the simple ankle ties in black or wine, but French designer Delphine Murat has a few more variations and every conceivable color on her site minisock.com.

It’s true that a great designer can make even the most mundane thing exciting.

$25 on girlshop.com

Grandmother clock 2007

The grandfather clock gets a serious update in this severely pared-down version. Clean and accurate, the pendulum slices through a tall stainless steel pillar. It’s gorge.

$398 at Chiasso

Swiss army gets an upgrade

I am not a techie by any means, but I have two flash drives. And I love them a little too much. I’ve also always loved Swiss Army knives, the original transformers (more than meets the eye), so the new generation is doublegood for me.

$115 for 1GB and $85 for 512MB at redenvelope.com

Too young to die

By the darling of Japanese pop art, Yoshitomo Nara, this ashtray will be the conversation piece of your party. With a 10″ diameter, it’s large enough to be used as a dish.

$50 at Unica Home

Book safe

Redemption lies within. This book safe is made from an actual book, although you won’t be able to choose the title yourself. But unless the thief or snoop is super observant, they shouldn’t notice the thriller among your romances or the fantasy within the classics. Not as sexy as a secret passageway, but still a little exciting.

$17.99 on amazon

From a little spark

An accessory unlike any other. This sparkle can be used in your hair, around your arm, on your neck, or anywhere else where you need a little something. It’s powered by a 3 volt battery, so you’ll always be able to light things up.

$28 at moi new york

channel your inner warhol

This fun fun fun camera takes four simultaneous shots and they all end up on one print. Making your own pop art has never been so fun, easy, or cheap.

$14 at fredflare.com

Wireless handset

If you remember phones when wires were involved, then this nostalgic telephone handset is just for you. It uses bluetooth technology to connect to your cell, and you can confuse everyone around you. So wrong, it’s right.

$39.99 at thinkgeek.com

Floral Wall Mural

You love the re-designs on TLC, HGTV, and Extreme Makeover Home Edition, but get tired just thinking about all that DIY redecorating. You’re not alone. But now it’s possible to inject some flair into your home without all that stripping, painting, and slipcovering. This bold mural will give your apartment or a room in your home a totally new look with minimal fuss.

$129.99 at Montgomery Ward

Baby book for modern parents

I don’t know a single parent who dutifully filled in all the pages of their baby’s first year memory book. This baby book goes beyond the “first tooth” and “first steps” to the real parenting nitty gritty. First person baby peed on? Baby’s first tantrum? These memories may not be as celebrated, but they’re just as important. And this book is just the thing to lighten up the mood at those mind-numbing gift opening sessions at baby showers everywhere.

Baby’s first tatttoo is $10.36 on amazon.com

Roasted garlic

It does take up counter space, but it more than makes up for that offense by giving you sweet and spreadable roasted garlic everytime. Without the mess and stinky fingers. Comes in white, black, and terracotta to match almost every kitchen style.

$29.99 at Target

Not blood diamonds

The easiest way to make sure you’re not buying blood diamonds? Bypass the rocks altogether. These whimsical “diamond” rings make a bold statement.

$98 for the silver, $10 for acrylic at the MOMA store